How do couples function with enormous student loan debt and spending habits in California?

I was dating a girl for 5 months who was really quite wonderful until I came to the realization that she was 0,000 in student and car loan debt (75k student/ 25k car). She obtained her Master’s in Social work at an expensive school and a job which was spiritually beneficial but not financially helpful. Being 30 and having goals to want to live in a house someday I felt like the only way to help things move forward in the relationship was to get a 2nd or 3rd job to help her pay down her debt and/or for her to live with me rent free. In the meantime, she was responsible in paying down the debt with minimum payments but spent her excess cash on coffees, massages and eating out which made me think perhaps we had different philosophies on spending. While debt can’t ruin your life of having some instant gratifications im interested in understanding how couples function with the burden of student debt lingering over them if they aspire to have a family and a buy a condo in California?
Additional Details: I have my Masters in Electrical Engineering and am blessed to have made choices that allowed me to have no student or credit card debt. Is it common for couples to break up over debt or is love the stronger factor? How do couples sacrifice their personal goals (house and family) and stay with each other in the face of student debt they get into to fulfill their occupational dreams?

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5 Responses to “How do couples function with enormous student loan debt and spending habits in California?”

Dr_Adventure:

May 10, 2010 at 10:16 am

One of the most common causes of couple discord is MONEY (sex, inlaws, communication, and children are the others). But money is a powerful one. You are right to look at your relationship to money. Clearly your girlfriend has a different relationship if she is only paying back the minimum and engaging in other more of a CA lifestyle. You sound like you are much more frugal. As for how to survive. The key is to pay down that debt. Your friend might look and see if she qualifies for any loan repayment programs – There are programs that will repay for people to work in certain fields within social work (Child Welfare for example). This would allow her to get out from some of the debt. DA
jeffthegodofbiscuits:

May 10, 2010 at 10:16 am

My solution: Move to Georgia.
kidmccloud:

May 10, 2010 at 10:16 am

unless she gains controle of her own finances i wouldnt step up the relationship. if you marrie her for some reason her dept becomes yours
bigcee is the man!:

May 10, 2010 at 10:16 am

you have to get "gazelle intense" as dave ramsey says. buy his book the total money makeover. its a road map to debt free living. getting out of debt is a winnable war, and quicker than you might think. but it takes discipline.
Shawn J:

May 10, 2010 at 10:16 am

You must always be careful with credit cards, car loans, mortgages and debt consolidation. Persoanlly, I was in debt of over $100,000 at one point in time, roughly 4 years ago. I am proud to say I am now DEBT FREE. It is very confusing on what to pay first how to chop down your debt, but there is a lot of good content out there to help. I have also started my own blog to help people out by talking about what I think is important. Check it out sometime!

http://credit-and-loans.blogspot.com/

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